Sometimes we forget that everything we say to others, we’re actually saying to ourselves. Every time we get angry, we’re really getting angry at ourselves. Trying to win an argument is one of the most energy-draining things a human can do. Is it really worth it?
What if, starting today, we try a different strategy? What if we face those people—who always want to be right, who constantly complain, and who seem irritated by everything around them—in a new way?
As an entrepreneur, there’s a 99.9% chance that you’ll face negotiations with other companies: whether about contracts, breaches of contracts, sales, store rentals, investor equity agreements, salaries and conditions with key employees, marketing campaign budgets, conflict resolution between partners, division of responsibilities, payment terms with large B2B clients, financing terms with banks, internal strategic changes, etc. I could list a thousand situations where you’ll have to negotiate—and the other side will want to be “right” or try to convince you to change your mind.
The strategy I’ve followed for years is to never disagree, never get angry. Disagreement leads nowhere, it doesn’t help, it doesn’t add value, it’s never the right path. Never disagree. It’s not worth it. The energy it creates is destructive.
Thali Salot, a neuroscience professor at University College London, scientifically proved that the key for someone to change their mind is that they feel heard and understood. And using common sense, that seems pretty logical—I’m more likely to change my beliefs or opinions if I feel listened to, not if someone is yelling at me or constantly correcting me without letting me speak. Words should be bridges, not walls. Spend less time disagreeing, and more time understanding.
Now, in order to succeed in a negotiation, we have to understand our internal programming—our software—and all the updates that have been installed in us since birth. These are our beliefs, which in 99.9% of cases are limiting beliefs we aren’t even aware of—or don’t want to be aware of.
You didn’t choose what you believe in. This is the first truth that many people find hard to hear: your beliefs chose you—not the other way around.
Just by being born in a particular geographic location, you ended up with one set of beliefs or another. If you’d been born in India, China, or Thailand, your worldview would be completely different from the one you have now.
YOUR BELIEFS
Beliefs deserve a whole separate chapter. The perception and context of the person you’re negotiating with defines the starting point for everything. And understanding the other person’s beliefs is crucial. Personally, about a year ago, I lived through a week where I barely slept—and my beliefs shifted almost overnight. I had advanced meditation episodes that I’ve never told anyone about, and experienced things that to this day defy rational explanation. I’m not sure if I’ll ever talk about them.
The result is that since then, I, Borja Mera, became a different person. Suddenly I lost all my fears and dared to do unthinkable things—like put myself out there and launch a podcast. It’s also true that I acted somewhat impulsively, and there are things I wish I had done differently, but I can’t change them now. Still, I’m grateful for everything I experienced. For how I see the world now and the amazing people I’ve met along the way, like my friend Vik. From time to time, I visit him in Madrid for a Gong session at his place and to share experiences.
If you’re negotiating with the Borja of today, you’ll have to approach things differently. These days, I’ve even taken off my cap—and I feel calm and at peace in almost any situation. That’s a superpower when it comes to running a fast-growing company like TechPump or Siroko.
In the middle of any negotiation, debate, or disagreement—even if there’s tension—remember: the key to getting someone to change their mind is finding a common goal, something that keeps their mind open to your perspective or what you’re trying to achieve. Your goal must be sincere and honest. If you try to deceive someone, you’re only deceiving yourself. And cheating yourself is absolutely off-limits—that’s a red line. Truth comes first.
If you really disagree with someone, resist the emotional urge to start with “I disagree” or “that’s not true.” Instead, try to lay out the things you both share or have in common.
Healthy conflict strengthens relationships because everyone works toward the common goal of solving the problem.
At our company, TechPump, we’ve historically used a very powerful tool during moments of greatest tension. A tool that has brought us incredible results in 99.99% of cases. That tool is humor. In the toughest, most stressful moments, humor has helped us resolve problems.
Even technical issues—I’ll always remember when we became one of the top 10 companies in the world in terms of internet traffic. We hit 24 million daily visits, 750 million monthly users, and spent days, weeks, and months dealing with nightly server crashes that couldn’t handle the traffic. Chavi, my friend and CTO, along with Mr. Paco, our server guy—we spent countless nights manually installing servers around the world. Literally, from New York to Amsterdam to Madrid. When I say “manually,” I mean we sent people physically to install them in racks. We built a server system that, now in 2025, is fully automated with the push of a button. But back then, while laughing every night about the chaos—even with a massive problem—we did it.
Our company’s slogan at TechPump is Make it Happen.
We’re all about doing, learning, and moving forward. That’s been our holy grail for years.
And that’s where we’re headed again. Our new goal is to refocus the company on traffic, blow up sales, and get back to those 24 million daily visits—or maybe even more—with the new projects we’ll be launching in the coming months.
Never get angry—the road to TechPump’s success.
Borja Mera.